PS Email Warning

I forgot to mention that after opening a couple of the emails warning me about a new virus my computer ran slowly for a while. I ran an antivirus program but nothing came up.

Virus Threat????

URGENT TWO SUBJECT LINES TO BEWARE OF: BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY. READ AND HEED. PLEASE INFORM EVERYONE
Emails with pictures of Osama Bin-Laden hanged are being sent and the moment that you open these emails your computer will crash and you will not be able to fix it! If you get an email along the lines of 'Osama Bin Laden Captured' or 'Osama Hanged', don't open the attachment. This e-mail is being distributed through countries around the globe, but mainly in the US and Israel Be considerate & send this warning to who ever you know.
PLEASE FORWARD THIS WARNING AMONG FRIENDS, FAMILY AND CONTACTS:
You should be alert during the next few days: Do not open any message with an attached file called 'Invitation' regardless of who sent it. It is a virus that opens an Olympic Torch which 'burns' the whole hard disc C of your computer.This virus will be received from someone who has your e-mail address in his/her contact list, that is why you should send this e-mail to all your contacts. It is better to receive this message 25 times than to receive the virus and open it If you receive a mail called 'invitation', though sent by a friend, do not open it and shut down your computer immediately.
This is the worst virus announced by CNN, it has been classified by Microsoft as the most destructive virus ever. This virus was discovered by McAfee yesterday, and there is no repair yet for this kind of virus. This virus simply destroys the Zero Sector of the Hard Disc, where the vital information is kept.

I received this email today from no less than 5 people, some I don't even know. My God, I thought What is going on. So I went on BBC web and checked there, nothing. CNN, nothing. Microsoft, nothing. MacFee, nothing. So what am I doing about the above email? That's right, nothing.

Mind you if the emails mentioned do turn up I will know what to do. Better safe than without a computer.

"Could you please wait till I get sat down?"

I shouldn't need to ask.

I went down to the library this morning to change some books, a day late. There is a new computerised system down there now, you place your card on a bar code reader and then place the books in a slot that reads the books titles and you get a receipt that has a list of the books and date they are due back. Fine except that that date is no longer stamped in the front of the book so you have to keep the receipt or write the date in yourself. Both of which I omitted to do and ended up owing Torbay Library Services 24 pence, a tiny fraction of my income but still 24 pence. I digress. What I wanted to mention is that while I was there I picked up a copy (free) of the Mature Times, a paper aimed at us oldies. One of the articles suggested that up to 800 elderly people a day fall over whilst on a bus. Several reasons were given including tripping over items left in the isle, the driver going too fast and the most likely, the driver setting of before the elderly person has sat down. Now I am aware that as a person gets older their bones get more fragile so I always tried to make sure anyone who looked fragile had sat down before I set of. I am sad to say I was in a minority. I travel on buses quite a lot these days ( well it’s free isn’t it? (sic)) and I do notice that if I was still driving a bus I would still be in the minority.

I once asked a driver why he had set of from Castle Circus, accelerating in a similar fashion to Apollo 11, while an extremely frail old lady was still struggling down the bus. She would have gone out the back window except there wasn’t a back window on the bus. His reply was, “I have a timetable to keep to.” When pushed a bit further he stated, “If she can’t get on a bus quickly she shouldn’t get on a bus.” I gave up at this point, it would have been like trying to tell the British Government that we are wasting time, money, reputation and lives in Afghanistan without hope of the conflict ever ending.

I would point out in the bus company’s defence that Stagecoach, when I worked there, did put up notices instructing drivers not to indulge in this dangerous tactic. As more elderly people make more use of their free (sic) bus passes this problem can only get worse unless a more vigorous campaign is carried out by bus companies to educate their drivers as to the dangers elderly people face when boarding a bus. Apart from the notice I mentioned above I do not remember, when going through bus driving school or at any other time, anyone mentioning this problem other than in an offhand, slightly condescending fashion. Perhaps a tour round a hospital ward full of elderly people who fell over on a bus might be a bit too much to organise but the odd poster in the office could help make some of our less caring drivers think before setting of.
PS Not all drivers set of while I struggle to get to my seat laden down with shopping and my camera but if you are elderly it only takes one fall to bugger up the rest of your life..

Cat in the Corner

The cat has been behaving badly, scratching the furniture so I told him to go and sit in the corner.

Not Tony Gormley

I visited the exhibition at The Spanish Barn, 40000 clay things all looking at you the viewer. Main problem, there was an eagle eyed member of the Abbey staff standing there to make sure you didn't either nick a souvenir, ie one of the little things with the staring eyes or worse, much worse in the Arts Council's eyes, take a photo. I think I mentioned eyes a couple or three times there.
So I went to the Living Coast down on Torquay Harbour and shot this instead. They lack the eyes and the rugged looks and the individuality of the collection in the Spanish Barn and are never likely to go on a World Tour. But when all's said and done a photograph is a photograph. I was tempted to paint eyes on these tiny penguins but decided it would be too much trouble.

Also down in the Harbour was this. It is just a little bit bigger than the penguins and considerably bigger than the yachts and ferries we usually get in Torquay Harbour.

Name Any Two Great Train Robbers.

Back in August 1963 the only subject of conversation for a few weeks was the Great Train Robbery. £2.5 million was a lot of money in those days. What made it even better was the fact that most of us could not hope ever to get our hands on that kind of money. A bus driver would have been luck to earn £15 a week, top prize on the Premium Bonds was, I think still only £5000 and on the pools, the predecessor to the lottery, it was £75 000. Most people tended to admire the robbers for the audacity of their crime pointing out that the cash was on it's way to be destroyed anyway. What tended to be forgotten was one of the gang got stupid and hit the train driver who never worked again and it was claimed in later years that he died prematurely as a result of his beating. Each member of the gang ended up with a bag containing £150 000 but most of them ended up behind bars within a year. The 30 year sentence was greeted with both surprise and dismay and when Ronnie escaped from Winston Green prison many people were quietly pleased. His trip to Brazil hit the headlines as did his attempted kidnap by certain members of the crew of a British war ship that was on a visit to Brazil. Eventually Ronnie Came home and the rest is history. Today the Parole Board recommended he should be released. He is old and ill and if not exactly dying does not have long left. Jack Straw, the Justice Minister has decided that Ronnie will not be released as he has never shown any remorse and chose not to serve his jail sentence when he escaped and moved to Brazil all those years ago.
The question is, and you can answer yes, no or don't care, should Ronnie be released?

My Michael Jackson Story.

Back in the eighties I was teaching at a comprehensive school in Salford. I discovered that the school possessed a video recorder that had been donated by a former pupil. Video recorders were fairly new back then, I imagine now every school has DVD players and computers coming out their ears. The school had a couple of famous ex pupils, Ben Kingsley and Albert Finney to name them both but the donator wasn't either of them. The Video recorder had spent all it's time in a store room because no one had bothered to set it up. So I went out and bought a bit of cable and wired it up. A few weeks later Michael released Thriller and one of the girls in my registration class brought in the video to lend to a friend. I offered to show the video that lunch time to any one who wanted to watch not really expecting more than a few people to turn up. When I got to the video room there were a couple of hundred children waiting. Over the next 3 days I showed it about 15 times to about half the school including many of the staff so Michael must have been popular. I am not a fan but I can recognise genius when I see it.
A few months later I was again in the video room when a little incident happened. Nothing to do with Michael but still interesting. It was the last period on a Friday afternoon and I was due to teach 4D some maths. These 15 year olds had learnt all the maths they were ever going to learn and some one had given me a tape about tessellation and I decided that a walk up to the video room and 20 minutes watching shapes fit together was the easy option. By the time the tape ended it was only 5 minutes to home time so I stopped the tape and expressed the wish that the pupils had enjoyed the show and as it was only a few minutes to the bell would they all mind very much watching the TV program that was now running. At that moment the head teacher walked in. This guy wore suits that must have cost £200 but looked like he had been to Oxfam for them. Anyway he must have wanted me for something, I never did find out what. Now I was standing with my back to the screen and had no idea what was showing but at 3:30 it was fairly safe bet the BBC weren’t showing a porn movie. He took one look at the TV and shouted loudly from the back of the room, “I though you were a maths teacher Mr Banks.” Now this was a typical example of this man’s bad manners. Even the children look surprised. I looked at the TV which was showing a nature film, Twenty rabbits were in a field eating grass and other things. So much for the BBC not showing porn films. “I am a maths teacher,” said I. “Today we are covering multiplication.”
There was a slight intake of breath from the class and then some one laughed and the headman stalked out. Shortly after that I decided that I had spent enough of my life in teaching and got a job as a driving instructor.